1. We go to the bathroom in pairs/groups. It’s just what we do. The bathroom is our sanctuary. 2. We are brave enough to take hot wax, pour it on our thigh, and rip it off from the root, but NEVER brave enough to touch a spider. 3. There is no such thing as an age limit when it comes to sleepovers. 4. We want you to tell us we look good when we ask, EVEN IF WE DONT. Women are an intelligent species that are aware of when we don’t look our best but we expect men to be intelligent enough to know this. So when we ask “DOES THIS DRESS MAKE ME LOOK FAT” we expect a “WHAT? NO!” or something to that sort. Do not be honest. (Note: Keep in mind that this is the only time we don't want to hear the truth.) 5. We hate it when you come home from work and do not feel like talking. 6. We want to know what’s on your mind so when we ask “how was your day” we need details. No, we don’t need to know when you farted or how many times you blinked. We need something more than “GOOD”. 7. We will not have a good nights rest if there was a problem that was not solved beforehand. The results? A wrinkled shirt, burned breakfast, and cold coffee. 8. Saying “ I’m Sorry” is like saying “I LOVE YOU”, it’s necessary. 9. We know we’re right so when you say “you were right” the smile on our face is not to make you feel like a punk, it’s more so a smile of victory. We don’t expect you to admit defeat so when you do, we won. 10. Contacting an ex girlfriend for any reason will get you the boot. 11. A man who cancels, reschedules, or backs out of a date is a puss. Don’t expect us to call you back. 12. It’s attractive when you notice something new about our bodies, hair, wardrobe, etc. We try hard to keep your attention so we appreciate learning that you’ve been watching. 13. Women are not as complicated as people think. We have three simple rules: cherish us, love us, and respect us. Cherish us = we need attention at all times, do not neglect us. Show us you are grateful for the little things. Love us = this is self-explanatory. If you’re in love, act like you are. Respect us = we don’t want to be called outside of our name at any point in the relationship. Show us the same respect you give your mother, grandmother, etc. Everything else should fall into line. 14. Do not think that you have the harder job in the relationship just because you go in your pocket to pay for a meal or movie ticket or because you go out of your way to keep us happy. We bust our behinds trying to keep the spark in the relationship and keep the love alive. All you have to do is cooperate. Easy. 15. Women remember everything you do and say. So when we bring it back up in an argument it’s just a reminder for you that we don’t miss anything. Yes, it’s not right but that’s the way we conduct ourselves.
WORDS WOMEN USE:
FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘Nothing’ usually end in “Fine”.
GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.
LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.
THAT’S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome.
WHATEVER: It’s a woman’s way of saying *!#@ YOU!
Now I expect the men to be taking notes. This was “The Truth About Women” by Amber Nobles aka Bekky Boo.
